Is Caregiver Isolation and Loneliness rearing it's ugly head?

Joanie is a vibrant lady in her early 60s.  She spent many years excelling as the Vice President of a local bank.  A job she enjoyed and loved.  She is a devoted mom to her two daughters and cherishes her three grandchildren.  She loves cooking for them, making special gifts for them, and just spending time with them.  Above all, Joanie is a great wife to Jim.  Jim was a farmer until he was diagnosed with Frontotemporal Dementia a few years ago.  He now needs assistance from Joanie 24 hours a day.  

Joanie left her job a few months ago and is now Jim’s full-time caregiver.  She helps him start his day with a great meal, put on his favorite shirt, and move to his favorite chair on the deck.  Everything she does shows her love for him.  

However, when she returns to the kitchen to wash the dishes, she knows their lives have changed so much.  She doesn’t see her coworkers, go to religious services, and has no time to talk much on FaceTime with her daughters and grandchildren.  She finds herself so exhausted she doesn’t do the crafts she once enjoyed.  She often feels sad, cries over small things, having difficulty sleeping and eating.  She has even lost weight.  She feels alone and thinks others don’t understand what it is like to be a full-time caregiver.  The heaviness of this makes her cry, and her tears drip into the dishwater.  It makes her mad that she can’t control the crying.  After all, she is losing the love of her life, Jim, a little more each day. Jim calls her, and she snaps back to reality. 

Caregiver Isolation and Loneliness Can Lead to Depression

AARP estimates that 40-70% of caregivers have Depression.  Social Isolation is a leading cause of depression for caregivers.  As a caregiver, you know how difficult it may be to reach out to others and have the time and energy to interact with friends in a meaningful way.  

Ways to Reduce Caregiver Social Isolation

Respite care

A hired caregiver can help you do some things that fill your day and lead to exhaustion.  Some caregivers hire someone who can help them do laundry, dishes, yard work, and care for their loved ones part of the day.  Having this time freed up may allow you to take a nap, reach out to a friend, or attend a support group.  At times, caregivers and their families may choose respite care in a Long Term Care facility.  

Some caregivers use a private person or an agency to find a hired caregiver.  Others may enlist the help of a Geriatric Care Manager.  

Support for Caregiver Isolation, Depression, and Loneliness

Support groups - virtual or in-person - Parkinson’s support groups, Alzheimer’s Support Groups, and Groups through your religious organization and in your community may help you feel less alone.  

Calls from close friends and contacts

Counseling can be a way to work through the many feelings that are obstacles to getting help.  Sometimes caregivers may feel guilty or scared when they leave their loved one and do things for themselves. Depression counseling in Columbia, MO, may provide healing, self-compassion, and relief from the intense feelings that may arise as a caregiver.  See my blog about Finding a therapist in Columbia, MO.  

Reconnecting to Awe and joy -

Even if it is small, noticing small things may be a way to make each day more positive for you.  

Joanie had her neighbor hang a bird feeder outside her kitchen window.  The neighbor agreed to keep it full of bird seed.  Having the bird feeder helped Jim and Joanie by giving them more things to see.  Seeing a rare bird was a joy to Joanie because she always loved birds, and it reconnected her to one thing she loves.  Their neighbor, who is a close friend, wanted to help Jim and Joanie, he didn’t want to intrude, and this project helped him feel connected and an opportunity to contribute.   You may find something large or small you can do each day that brings joy to you and reconnects you to your enjoyment. 

About the author Jerry W. Kiesling, MSW, LCSW

Jerry W. Kiesling, MSW, LCSW, is a counselor and therapist in Columbia, MO.  Jerry helps Seniors, Caregivers, and Adults live better lives with Depression, anxiety, grief, and loss.  

Learn more about Jerry at www.counselingmidmo.com/about.  

Call Jerry today for a free 15-minute phone consultation. Call 573-238-8575  Start your healing for caregiver stress today!